Doctor? Who?

(-Mike is in a suit similar to the eleventh Doctor in 'Doctor Who' running around the house-)
Me: Cat?!
Cat: Meow?!
Me: Cat! My sonic screwdriver! Quick!
(-Cat runs up to Mike with a screwdriver in his mouth. Mike grabs it and points it at the door-)
.......
(-the doorbell rings. Mike and Cat look at each other-)
Cat: Meow?
(-Mike opens the door-)
Pizza Man: Are you Michael?
Me: No....tell him Cat.
Cat: Meow meow, meow.
Me: Exactly. I'm the Doctor.
..............
Me: Yes, I'm Michael. Give me that.
(-Mike grabs the pizza and shuts the door-)

In Class

(-Mike is sitting in class and his phone rings. He bends down and answers it-)
Me: Hello?
Cat: (over phone) Meow.
Me: Cat, I'm in class!
(-Mike hangs up and straightens back in his chair-)
Me: Wait, what?!

Reverse Psychology

Me: Hey Cat. I have some left over eggs. Do you want 'em?
Cat: Meow.
(-Cat uses his paw and dumps the eggs all over the floor-)
Cat: Meow.
Me: What do you mean disgusting? I'll eat them if you don't.
Cat: Meow meow.
Me: Shut up. You know I'm trying to watch my weight.

Excuses, Excuses

Cat: Meow.
Me: Hey buddy. I'm working on the web series.
Cat: Meow meow.
Me: I know I was supposed to have it up two years ago. I got busy.
Cat: Meow, meow.
Me: Shut up. You don't even know what that means.

Weeds

Me: She's gone. You can come out now.
(-Cat crawls out of a hole in the wall-)
Cat: Meow?
Me: No. She just wanted her box set of Weeds back.
Cat: Meow meow.
Me: I know. Finished it yesterday....high-five.
(-Mike holds up his hand. Cat looks at it, and turns away-)
Me: Right.

She's Back?

(-Door rings-)

Me: Cat! Can you get that?!..........Cat?!........Cat!

(-Mike runs downstairs where Cat is staring at his ex-owner/Mike's ex-girlfriend at the door-)

Cat: Meow.

Me: My sentiments exactly.

Cat? Killer?

(-Mike walks in the door-)

Me: Holy shit....

Cat: Meow meow.

Me: What do you mean you got bored? I've only been gone a week and a half.

Cat: Meow.

Me: Well...........is that blood on the floor? Whose bra is that?